The Foreskin Press

Research Shows Alphabets In “Airtel” All Feature In “Fairytale”

Posted on: June 22, 2009

Foreskin Press Airtel Logo icon image india telecomDespite being one of the global few to post a whopping 31% turnover and show profits running in to thousands of crores of Indian Rupees, the senior management came under severe criticism for failing to pass on suitable benefits to their manpower across Bharti’s domain of operations.

Cell Phone, Wallet, and Money in Dish rupee cash coinUnder fire from shareholders and other stake-holders, telecom giant Bharti Airtel today announced an 18% increment for all employees with a tenure greater than 2 years along with 3 months’ basic as bonus payable in lieu of mid-year performance appraisals.

The famed Burj Al-Arab by sunset

The famed Burj Al-Arab by sunset

Mr Ayearn Soemuch, head of Bharti’s global recruiting arm, made the following statement at the group’s monthly celebration held at the world renown 7-star Burj Al-Arab in Dubai, now almost second-home to Airtel’s so-called ‘conservative’ senior management: “We truly care for the people who have helped build us from the ground up. Our vision is to be the most loved and sought after employer by 2010.”

Choking on a $42.70 croissant, Mr Sunil Bharti Mittal, chairman of the Bharti Airtel empire, reportedly shrieked “that’s a good one!” and the entire senior management burst into hysterics right in the middle of their hearty breakfast.

LOL Laugh Out Loud foreskin press hysterical laughter people crowdMr Bigg Shou, the group’s Head of Alternate Revenues then stepped up to inform amused reporters that the gag was part of an innovative attempt to highlight the new and improved relaunch of the Jokes push-based service offered by the carrier to their beloved customers.

“To experience more such Laugh-Out-Loud moments” he said, “use your Airtel mobile phone to type JOKES, send it via SMS to 121, and you can add a smile to your bleak and dreary lives.”

foreskin-press-airtel-sweeping-broom-brush-clean-upThe event appeared to have galvanized the entire audience and everyone, from reporters to hotel employees, were seen immediately trying out the  new revamped service.  Even hotel cleaning staff were seen joking about the thousands of dollars worth of food that spewed out of the mouths of the senior management as they exploded into unbridled laughter on-stage.

In unrelated news, naukri.com, shine.com, monster.com and clickjobs.com reported a 400% increase in the number of job-seeker postings and CV uploads under “Networking”, “Sales & Marketing”, “Customer Service” and “Telecommunications”.  The sudden manifold increase has been attributed to the positive energy available among telecom-employees, and the “good vibes” from the job market.

Advertisements

3 Responses to "Research Shows Alphabets In “Airtel” All Feature In “Fairytale”"

Lol! Almost believed it! Good blog.

Cool!

thank you!

unfortunately, i’m unable to access your URL… do provide me with the correct link…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Foreskin Statistics

  • 111,903 hits

Docking : A World View

Foreskin Press | The Author

Foreskin Archives

Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory
On our way to 1,000,000 rss feeds - millionrss.comî
%d bloggers like this: