The Foreskin Press

Queer Convergence

Posted on: June 28, 2009

Foreskin Press gay march india indian pride article 377 chennaiRailway stations, out-station bus depots and various airports at the country’s Metros have been witness to the most colourful disembarkations over the last two days.

The Gay Pride marches being organized across India’s leading cities has seen queens converging in droves like flies are drawn to, well, shit.

People who prefer sex with members of the same sex promise to add colour to our dreary days not just by marching down the streets of Mumbai, Delhi, Bhubaneshwar, Hyderabad, Calcutta, Bangalore and now, even Chennai, but by also getting the controversial Article 377 of the archaic Indian Constitution repealed.

Foreskin Press gay march india indian pride article 377 chennai 1“Who I [4-letter expletive] is my [4-letter expletive]ing business,” shrieks a saree draped Surendar, sashaying past the media.  And that pretty much sums up what the supposedly liberal hearted faggots are looking for.

On the other hand, however, we have the Home Ministry who are filled with brilliant old men who always know what’s best for India.  And they appear quite subdued about the whole LGBT activism.  “I will not succumb to temptation,” shouted a minister, leaving reporters confused.

The third player in the game of strange bedfellows is the High Court, who promises to be a little forward-thinking.  However, as the Indian public are well aware, thinking and actually doing are two very different things in our part of the sub-continent.

Foreskin Press police cop policeman gay march india indian pride article 377 chennai 1Not withstanding, queers all over the country are using this as an opportunity to party, over-dress, bitch, fight, wear make-up, borrow their mum’s underwear and shoes, pull on panty-hose, and generally make a spectacle of themselves.

Policemen all over the country have been similarly prepping themselves up for the grand day, some with extra groin cups and others with sunscreen.  “As if they aren’t already a bunch of confused non-men trying to palm off their perversion as a form of artistic expression,” says an angry policeman scheduled for duty at the Chennai Pride March.

foreskin-press-police-cop-policeman-gay-march-india-indian-pride-article-377-chennai.jpg“It’s bad enough that there’s a one in eight chance the offspring from my own rather well-endowed loins could turn out to be faggot,” bemoans another beefy policeman.  “Now I have to put up with him making a mockery of my manhood.”

Foreskin Press police cop policeman gay march india indian pride article 377 chennai2Another group of handsome young policemen sweltering under Chennai’s intense humidity asks, “Why the hell are we being asked to protect these kothis?  We’re the ones who need to be protected from them!” True to form, many fags gathered at the march have used every opportunity to brush up or feel up the cops on duty and were seen trying to exchange phone numbers with the reluctant young men in uniform.

The homos however have a different take on this.  “I got six numbers today,” exclaims a lipstick wearing young thing of indeterminate sex.  “What do you mean ‘reluctant young men in uniform’?  I found them very willing”, it said with a wink.Foreskin Press gay march india indian pride article 377 chennai 2

When this reporter clarified that the question pertained not to the willingness of the cops but to the overall issue at hand, the youth with the slathered on lipstick retorted, “Who cares?  I’ve got one muscled policeman lined up for every night through the coming week.  Who will you be sleeping with?”, and sashayed away with a laugh and a wild swing of the hips.

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8 Responses to "Queer Convergence"

HILLARIOUS!!! I love your blog!!!! Can’t wait to read them all, Reuben.

glad you enjoyed them, Harsh!

don’t forget to introduce it to your friends too…

I’ve read your blog and a host of other Indian Blogs, and I enjoy them very much. There is one thing missing from my life is an Indian man to share my life here in America. I have deeply fallen in love with all Indian men, and before I die I would like share my life with an Indian Man. To all you who are Indians I would like to say you very luckly person.

Mark

Funny, though your brand of faux-journalism greatly resembles that of The Globe’s top writers.

i think i’ll play it safe and say ‘thank you’!

You talk of gays as if they are less than humans.

Stop stereotyping people like you are in sixth grade.

Yes, some gays wear lipstick, or dress over the top, maybe because their whole life they’ve had to hide who they are and now they overcompensating.

But not all gays are the same. Not all gays are cross-dressing, whiny faggots like you so arrogantly assume.

There are BILLIONS of homosexuals across the world. Some of they are Doctors, some of they are policemen, some of them could be your best friend, if you just had a fucking open mind and heart.

Stop attacking people because they are not like you. Start seeing the beauty of why God made every single one of us DIFFERENT.

God Bless YOU.

It’s sad to see how far India has come, yet the majority of Indians still don’t understand homosexuality. Even the terms in this blog are derogatory and ignorant. You have basically bunched every stereotype you can think of and slapped it in your article. You really need to get a better understanding of sexuality because clearly you are insecure about your own ‘manhood’

Are all homophobiacs such limited and stupid?

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