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Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category

Foreskin Press Shiv Sena Chutiyas Riot Public Nuisance DisturbanceWith the Indian state of Tamil Nadu taking the lead on enabling Transgendered and Transvestites, others are running to cash in on what is increasingly being seen as a populist move.

Predictably, the Shiv Sena took to the streets when news of the Maharashtra Government’s move to add a similar option to new ration cards being issued in the state claiming that the only faggots in the state were “foreign, Pakistani, policemen, Muslims, Christians and Bihari.”Foreskin Press Shiv Sena Wrestling Kusti Mud Fight Men 1

“There is no place for homosexuals in our culture,” said an agitated Thackery.  It was promptly pointed out that homosexuality is a part of Hinduism, and makes up a huge part of our history.  “You are all mixed up. Even I have often confused semi-naked Foreskin Press Shiv Sena Wrestling Kusti Mud Fight MenIndian mud-wrestlers at the Akharas I own with intense with sexual desire and longing,” he said panting hard.  “The passion generated by watching two massive, muscular and manly men writhe together on our  the sand of our motherland, skin on skin, and sweat mingling as one , is hard to resist.  I must remind you that no Indian in our history has ever had sex with women, let alone with another man.”

Foreskin Press Raj Uddhav Bal Thackery Shiv Sena FoolsHe further went on to proclaim, “Sex is wrong!  I have never touched my wife even once.  My children are the offspring of God himself – God bless them all.”

The awkward silence was soon broken when the suddenly subdued Sena thugs began asking reporters to leave.

Later, discussions among visitors to the shocking Thackery news claimed to

File Photo of Bheem Bhai 'meeting the press' in his own inimitable style

Bheem Bhai 'meeting the press'

have noticed the Sena supremo’s personal bodyguard, Bheem Bhai Kamalnath, share guilty glances with Thackery’s wife.  No further developments have been reported.

Reports surrounding the suspected parcel-bomb addressed to Bharti Airtel’s headquarters located in Gurgaon’s landmark Cyber Park building were confirmed to be true.

Foreskin Press Indian India Gurgaon Police Cops Boy Kicked In AssSpeaking to reporters outside the India Post Office where the bomb was detected, DIG Inthapae Hoftharich told media-persons that the aura of hatred surrounding the “angrily packed parcel” alerted “alert post office workers that something was terribly amiss” who in turn informed the local police station.

Sniffer DogArriving in just five hours from four streets away, the bomb squad’s sniffer dogs were thrown off the scent “due to the deathly stench of unabashed greed that came off the ‘To’ address label” which incidentally happened to be Bharti Airtel Ltd., Tower A, 4’th Floor, Unitech Ward , Cyber Park, Sector- 39, Gurgaon, Harayana 122001.

The crude home-made incendiary device was apparently wrapped in “thick rolls of stinking garbage that wouldn’t even be worth recycling”. Gurgaon INDIA-BLAST-SECURITYPolice later confirmed that this was erroneous and clarified that the piles of paper mistaken for rubbish were actually copies of Bharti Airtel’s increment letters issued to all their employees earlier this month.  “Anyone would have made this mistake under the circumstance”, said the heavily perspiring DIG Police.

Hundreds of media-persons and thousands of members of the public were seen nodding their heads in agreement.

Airtel yesterday announced the relaunch of the revamped and refreshed Jokes SMS service amid much applause for their unique marketing stunt.  However, various veterinary specialists have suggested that the timing of the gag may have possibly been inappropriate.  Spokesperson for PETA, Mrs Humpda Dogg, also joined the concerned voices saying “people are not animals!” This reporter is still unsure of the context of her remark, but is convinced of the relevance.


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