Posts Tagged ‘hijra’
The Gay Pride marches being organized across India’s leading cities has seen queens converging in droves like flies are drawn to, well, shit.
People who prefer sex with members of the same sex promise to add colour to our dreary days not just by marching down the streets of Mumbai, Delhi, Bhubaneshwar, Hyderabad, Calcutta, Bangalore and now, even Chennai, but by also getting the controversial Article 377 of the archaic Indian Constitution repealed.
“Who I [4-letter expletive] is my [4-letter expletive]ing business,” shrieks a saree draped Surendar, sashaying past the media. And that pretty much sums up what the supposedly liberal hearted faggots are looking for.
On the other hand, however, we have the Home Ministry who are filled with brilliant old men who always know what’s best for India. And they appear quite subdued about the whole LGBT activism. “I will not succumb to temptation,” shouted a minister, leaving reporters confused.
The third player in the game of strange bedfellows is the High Court, who promises to be a little forward-thinking. However, as the Indian public are well aware, thinking and actually doing are two very different things in our part of the sub-continent.
Not withstanding, queers all over the country are using this as an opportunity to party, over-dress, bitch, fight, wear make-up, borrow their mum’s underwear and shoes, pull on panty-hose, and generally make a spectacle of themselves.
Policemen all over the country have been similarly prepping themselves up for the grand day, some with extra groin cups and others with sunscreen. “As if they aren’t already a bunch of confused non-men trying to palm off their perversion as a form of artistic expression,” says an angry policeman scheduled for duty at the Chennai Pride March.
“It’s bad enough that there’s a one in eight chance the offspring from my own rather well-endowed loins could turn out to be faggot,” bemoans another beefy policeman. “Now I have to put up with him making a mockery of my manhood.”
Another group of handsome young policemen sweltering under Chennai’s intense humidity asks, “Why the hell are we being asked to protect these kothis? We’re the ones who need to be protected from them!” True to form, many fags gathered at the march have used every opportunity to brush up or feel up the cops on duty and were seen trying to exchange phone numbers with the reluctant young men in uniform.
The homos however have a different take on this. “I got six numbers today,” exclaims a lipstick wearing young thing of indeterminate sex. “What do you mean ‘reluctant young men in uniform’? I found them very willing”, it said with a wink.
When this reporter clarified that the question pertained not to the willingness of the cops but to the overall issue at hand, the youth with the slathered on lipstick retorted, “Who cares? I’ve got one muscled policeman lined up for every night through the coming week. Who will you be sleeping with?”, and sashayed away with a laugh and a wild swing of the hips.